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The Christmas Star
’Tis the Season
When an old woman makes a wish upon a Christmas star, miracles start to happen. A manipulative angel and a zany Christmas season are exactly what it takes to get Jason and Elise in the same vicinity again. But can they forgive each other and forget old resentments and hurts? Well, Christmas is a perfect time for miracles. Throw in the hunt for the perfect tree, a sledding competition and a desperate-for-grandchildren mother, and you have the perfect recipe for...love? |
Chapter One
"Where are you going?"
"I’ve got to feed the sheep." Marilyn Banks pulled the side door closed, shutting out the sounds of The Lawrence Welk Show, and her husband.
The cold Wyoming air bit into her and she pulled up the zipper on her fleece coat before moving forward to grip the cold metal rail. The screen door slammed shut behind her as she carefully made her way down the frosted stairs.
An arthritic pain shot through her right knee, so she turned and went down the stairs in an awkward, crab-like way to relieve the discomfort. Lord, what a way to live; seventy-one and feeling like ninety.
She made her way to the side of the barn, stopped beside the wooden fence and looked out over the barren pasture. At her appearance, three winter-wooly sheep made their way toward her. She filled a bucket with corn from the shed, gave them some molasses water, then plucked the pitchfork from where it lay against the side of the barn. She shoveled alfalfa over the fence, but just a bit at a time, because her strength wasn’t what it used to be. Finishing, she cupped both hands over the top of the pitchfork and settled back to watch the sheep eat.
The two lambs had been born in the spring, and although grown, were still full of spunk and sass. She watched the three of them feed, butting against each other, their antics making her smile. "Lucky little critters," she said. "If I hadn’t been reading the good book and come to the part about the shepherds in the field, I’d have forgotten about you altogether." One bleated in response, but the three were too busy eating to pay her much attention.
She breathed in the cold, crisp air, and glanced around, taking in the beautiful night. She’d forgotten to turn on the outside lights, but the moon was bright, and the frost-covered fields gleamed with light and shadows. The snow had almost melted, but it was only December first, so there was plenty of time yet for a white Christmas. She glanced up, and her mouth literally fell open.
There was no moon out tonight. A star, brilliant and shining, lit the sky above. Her heart started to pound and her skin broke out in gooseflesh that had nothing to do with the cold. She’d just been reading the Christ story in the bible, and couldn’t help the thoughts that suddenly slid into her mind.
Here she was, out by the barn with the sheep, and the biggest and brightest star she’d ever seen in her life was shining down on her. It had to mean something. Maybe it was a sign just for her; an indication that the wish dearest to her heart would come true.
Feeling a pang of embarrassment at her foolishness, she glanced down, then busied herself by replacing the pitchfork. Whatever it was, she was too old and too tired to stand out in the cold and figure it out. She turned to go, then stopped.
Old she might be, but she wasn’t stupid. It was December, there was a big star in the sky, and if there was a chance that this was supposed to mean something to her personally, then she wasn’t messing it up. She’d already messed up too much in her life. She was going to make a wish on that star.
Closing her eyes, she thought about all the things in her life that could use some help, then smiled. Of course she knew exactly what she was wishing for, but simply wanted to prolong the moment. She opened her eyes and looked up at the star. "I wish that my husband, my daughter and Jason could forgive each other this Christmas season."
The star continued to shine just as brightly.
Slowly, this time with hope filling her heart, she made her way back to the house.
And missed seeing the star twinkle in the sky.
***
Standing outside her car in freezing December weather, Elise Banks glared at the bag of chocolate chip cookies on the floor of her Impala. Arms loaded with groceries, dry cleaning, briefcase, purse, a stack of mail in one hand and keys in the other, she was definitely not in the mood for this. There were two steep flights of stairs to her apartment, and she was not making another trip down. She continued to glare. She needed those cookies.
Hooking the key ring onto her thumb, she bent her knees and leaned into the car sideways, balancing both grocery sacks. Carefully she retrieved the cookie bag with her index and middle finger, slowly straightened, and breathed a sigh of relief. She shut the car door with one hip, turned and headed for the stairs. She was exhausted. Chicago traffic had been a nightmare and the pharmaceuticals company she worked for a mad house; and since she was in charge of the staff meeting in the morning, she’d had to stay late to finish preparing. Now she had a million things at home to catch up on, but all she wanted to do was relax, finish reading a romance novel, and eat the entire bag of chocolate chip cookies.
She was breathing heavily by the time she stood outside her apartment door. Wriggling the key into the doorknob, then the dead bolt, she managed to push into her apartment before dropping a few things on the floor.
Her two cats, Fawn and Tinkerbell, came running as she kicked the door closed. "Hi, babies." They followed her into the kitchen and she grinned as they tried to weave between her legs. "Hungry?" She set the mail and groceries on the table and opened a couple of cans of cat food as the animals rubbed against her.
While they ate, she popped a TV dinner into the oven, put away the groceries, then sat at the kitchen table and sorted through the stack of mail: junk mail, a couple of bills, a Christmas card from an old high school friend in Wyoming, and a seminar notice.
She lifted the postcard-sized announcement, a brilliant white card with pretty gold lettering. A man named Gabriel Christensen was putting on a seminar: How to get organized, get focused, and get the life you really want.
Not interested. She was already organized, focused, and had the life she wanted. She didn’t need anyone telling her how to do it. She threw the postcard into the trash with the rest of the junk mail, opened her file folder, placed the bills in the appropriate slots, and opened the Christmas card.
Ashley Johnson, her husband, and three adorable children smiled brightly at her. Elise’s heart wrenched as unexpected pain washed through her and she closed her eyes briefly. She wouldn’t let this distress her. She had a wonderful job, great friends, and a fabulous life. She dated. If she wanted to be married with three kids, she could be. There was plenty of time. Thirty-two wasn’t exactly over the hill. And she was always being complimented on her long dark hair and brown eyes. It wasn’t as if she were dog meat or anything. Just choosy.
She opened her eyes and looked at Ashley’s oldest child. He must be at least ten years old. If Elise had married Jason after college, their child might be in kindergarten by now. If--
She snapped the card closed, unwilling to let herself dwell on what might have been. It didn’t matter anymore. She had exactly the life she wanted, and she was happy. Very happy. Fulfilled. Contented.
A sudden yearning for home filled her and she tried to push the feeling aside. She’d been home last month and it had been uncomfortable; she had no plans to visit again anytime soon. Standing, Elise hung the Christmas card in the archway above the kitchen entrance with the few others she’d already received and gazed up at them. Since it was already December second, she really ought to get her own cards into the mail.
After checking the TV dinner, she pulled Christmas cards and addresses out of the appropriate files, and dug into her purse for her favorite pen. Her hand clasped a small, thick piece of paper and she pulled it out and recognized the gold lettering. It was another seminar notice. How strange. She didn’t remember putting it there.
She chucked it in the trash and continued looking for her pen. When she didn’t find it, she went into the living room and checked her coat pocket. Her hand clasped a thick piece of paper, about the size of a postcard, and chills ran up her arm. Slowly, she pulled out the paper. Another seminar notice.
What the heck was going on here? Sunday school class, the bible, the Lord works in mysterious ways, and teachings from her childhood flashed through her mind. Was she meant to go to this conference? Was someone trying to tell her something? She continued to stare at the notice, then gave her head a quick shake and released the breath she was holding.
No doubt someone from work was playing a joke on her; teasing about her organizational skills. She’d get razzed in the morning.
As Elise walked to the trash, she tore up the notice, then let the pieces flutter into the garbage. Symbolically she brushed off her hands. One thing was for certain; she was not going to that seminar.
***
At work the next day, Elise went straight to her cubicle, deposited her purse and coat, grabbed the folders for the staff meeting and went to set up. This wasn’t the first time she’d been singled out to do a presentation, and with promotions on the horizon, she intended to do a great job.
In the conference room, she set folders around the rectangular table, made sure the markers worked on the dry erase board, plugged in her laptop, and checked that the Power Point audio and visual were working. She was ready.
Her friend, Kimberly, walked into the room, her tiny frame dwarfed by the two large boxes of doughnuts balanced on her forearms, and the two gallons of orange juice, one hanging from each hand. Elise hurried forward and took the juice.
Kimberly smiled. "Thanks. Have you got everything ready?"
"You bet."
Kimberly finished setting out the doughnuts and winked. "Knock-em dead."
Co-workers filed through the doorway, talking and laughing, picking up doughnuts and juice on their way to their seats.
Mr. Simmons, her boss, entered last. "Okay, listen up people, Elise’s in charge today, so let’s get started." As everyone quieted and opened folders, Elise launched into the presentation. To her relief, it went well.
When the meeting ended, Mr. Simmons raised a white card. "Just one more thing. I received this announcement for a motivational seminar and I want one of you to go and report back. Any volunteers?"
Several hands went up, but her boss turned to her. "Elise, you did a great job today and deserve a bit of a break. Why don’t you do it? Go and take notes, then give us a summary, okay?"
"Sure." She watched as a very familiar looking placard was passed to the front. She quickly scanned the faces of her boss and co-workers, looking to see if she was the butt of a joke, but other than a few teasing grumbles about her good fortune, no one even looked her way. With a feeling of inevitability, she reached for the card and turned it over to see pretty gold lettering. She wasn’t even surprised when she saw that a guy named Gabriel Christensen was teaching the class. Apparently, she was meant to go to his seminar.
***
After the seminar lunch break, Elise sat in the back and went over her notes. So far they’d hit on motivation, attitude, body language and meditation.
She was glad she’d come; the speaker had turned out to be a good one. There were about fifty conference attendees, and the group was fun. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, and it was a nice break from work.
"Excuse me? Elise Banks?"
Elise turned and smiled, showing her name badge in the process. "Yes?"
Gabriel Christensen, the elderly seminar leader, was tall, slender, well dressed and handsome. With thick, silver hair and laughing blue eyes, he was the opposite of the smarmy, bottom-of-the-heap salesman type, she’d half-expected. He was more likely to give out bibles at the end of the lecture than sell CDs and DVDs. His habit of quoting scripture only made him more endearing. He had a kindness and a sincerity about him that either was sincere, or else Hollywood had missed out on a major talent.
"How are you doing? Are you understanding everything, or do you need anything explained?"
Elise smiled. "I’m fine, thanks."
"Are you staying for the entire program?"
"Yes, I’m not going anywhere."
"Great. That’s what I wanted to hear. Let me know if I can help at all."
She nodded, then watched as he went down the stairs, stopping to talk to a few people before he made his way toward the front.
A few minutes later he held up his hands. "Ladies and gentlemen, let’s begin again. We will now discuss forgiveness."
Elise stilled in the process of reaching for her pen, an uneasy feeling crawling into her gut. Forgiveness? What did that have to do with motivation in the workforce?
Gabriel looked right at her and winked.
She eyed him warily, feeling like she was missing something.
"Forgiveness is more important than any of the other subjects we’ve discussed so far today. We have to forgive everyone for everything they have ever done to hurt us. Everyone for everything. Why? Are the people who’ve hurt us being hurt by our refusal to forgive? Perhaps, and perhaps not. But more importantly, you are the one being hurt when you refuse to forgive. We have to let go of all past hurts. If you do this, it will literally feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders." He picked up the scriptures and held them in the air. "The good book says to forgive everyone."
When Gabriel looked at her again, she glanced away.
"So, I have an assignment for each of you. Take out a piece of paper. I want you to write a letter of forgiveness to the person who has hurt you the most."
Elise sat back and folded her arms. This had gone far enough. This wasn’t fun anymore and she no longer wanted to participate.
"I want you to think about someone you need to forgive. And I want you to write that person a letter of forgiveness. The good Lord says--"
Could this get any worse? Elise did not want to do this. She stiffened when Gabriel’s gaze turned toward her. "Elise? Is there a problem?"
She squirmed when all the attention in the room focused on her, but decided to opt for honesty. "I didn’t sign on for this."
"For what?"
"Forgiveness. Shouldn’t this be something we learn about in church?" Did she sound belligerent? Childish? She took a deep breath. "What I mean is, I think I’ll pass on this segment of the seminar."
Gabriel’s gaze captured her own. "Elise. It’s the areas we have the most problems with that we need to face head on. Anger and resentment can destroy peace and happiness. Forgiveness is often the key to having both."
"Look, I--" Why was she explaining herself to him? She’d simply write a letter to her cat, Tinkerbell, and forgive her for garbage digging. She’d--
"Sometimes it is difficult to even want to forgive. I realize that. But just give it an honest try, all right? Just let go of the hurt."
Honest? Let go? Tears burned behind her eyes. He didn’t know what he was asking. She continued to hold his earnest gaze for a moment longer, then her shoulders slumped and she nodded. "Yes, all right, fine."
"Wonderful!"
She opened her notebook and picked up her pen. Okay. She’d write the dang letter, and she’d even try to be honest. But she’d do it fast, get it over with, and be ready to move on to the next subject.
Heart beating hard, she mentally went through the list of people she needed to forgive. Hunching over her notebook, she bit the end of her pen. Let’s see, there was the guy in apartment 4C. He’d stolen the dryer when she’d opened it with the intention of moving her clothes from the washer to the dryer. That had been incredibly rude on his part. She wrote 4C on the page.
Oh, and Bryce at work. He’d bumped into her and she’d spilled hot cocoa and ruined her white silk blouse. He hadn’t even apologized, let alone offered to replace it.
And there was...feeling desperate, she rubbed her forehead. Let’s see, surely there was someone else? Oh yes, the lady at the floral shop. She’d overcharged for the flowers, and when Elise had complained, been really snooty about giving a refund.
Elise looked at the list of possible people she needed to forgive and struggled to find one she could feel good about, feel honest about, but it was hard to concentrate with other names pounding in her head. She needed to...well, she needed to...oh all right!
She quickly wrote his name on the piece of paper. Jason Winslow. Pain slammed into her and she just as quickly crossed the name off her list. Underneath she wrote Dad. Tears blurred her vision. Yes, she needed to forgive her father. Before she could give herself a chance to think, she turned the page and started a letter.
Dear Dad, I forgive you. Elise.
She stared at the letter. Honesty; she was going for honesty. She turned the page and started again.
Dear Dad,
She held her pen to the page and sudden emotion welled within her and she started to write, slowly at first, then faster as the flood of words poured from her onto the page.
I’ve been really angry for a long time. It’s time for me to let it go now, and to move on. I really loved Jason, and you did your best to break us up. Well, he’s probably married with three kids by now, and here I am, five years later, in a job I like, but with no one to love me. But it’s time I took some responsibility for the past too. It wasn’t all your fault. I’m sorry for my part in all of it and I forgive you for your part. I know that you’ve always wanted what’s best for me. I love you. Elise.
By the time she’d finished writing the short letter, her cheeks were drenched with tears. She wiped at her face with the back of her hand, sniffed, and dug in her purse for a tissue. Of course she needed to forgive her father. She’d been so unhappy. She loved him and knew he loved her.
Ripping the page out of the notebook, she reread the letter. She’d never mail it--the contents would probably make her father defensive and angry--but already she felt better. Eventually she’d call and have a talk with her dad. A very carefully worded conversation. After she’d thought about it for a long while.
"Okay, everyone done?"
She glanced up and searched the crowd; some people were still writing, others crying, and Gabriel was looking right at her.
She nodded.
"Is there anyone else you want to write a letter to?"
Elise glanced around to see a few people nodding. She glanced back to see Gabriel still staring at her and quickly shook her head.
He smiled, then proceeded to pass out envelopes. "All right then. Feel free to write more letters, but for now I want you to address your envelopes to the person you wrote the letter to."
Elise stilled. Oh, no. Not going to happen. This was something she’d do on her own time schedule.
Gabriel glanced at her. "Is there a problem, Elise?"
"Uh, well..."
"Are you under the impression that I would have you mail these letters unwillingly?"
Of course she was. "No, of course not."
"What I want you to do is address your letters, then put them in here." He held up a cardboard box that had been painted to look like a mailbox.
Elise took an envelope and passed the extras down the row. Of course. How silly. He wasn’t going to mail her letter. What did he care about her relationship with her father?
Gabriel spoke again. "We are going to symbolically mail the letters. Afterward, I’m sure some of you will want to really mail your letters. Feel free to do so. The power of forgiveness is amazing, and the healing that can take place will lift a burden that perhaps you’d not even realized was there."
Barely listening, Elise finished addressing her envelope then placed the letter inside. When Gabriel moved to her, she hesitated, then reluctantly placed her letter in the mailbox. Fine. But she was not mailing it later.
His smile was brilliant. "Okay, now we’ll move on to something else."
Relief flooded through her. She definitely wanted to move on to another subject.
"I’ve got to feed the sheep." Marilyn Banks pulled the side door closed, shutting out the sounds of The Lawrence Welk Show, and her husband.
The cold Wyoming air bit into her and she pulled up the zipper on her fleece coat before moving forward to grip the cold metal rail. The screen door slammed shut behind her as she carefully made her way down the frosted stairs.
An arthritic pain shot through her right knee, so she turned and went down the stairs in an awkward, crab-like way to relieve the discomfort. Lord, what a way to live; seventy-one and feeling like ninety.
She made her way to the side of the barn, stopped beside the wooden fence and looked out over the barren pasture. At her appearance, three winter-wooly sheep made their way toward her. She filled a bucket with corn from the shed, gave them some molasses water, then plucked the pitchfork from where it lay against the side of the barn. She shoveled alfalfa over the fence, but just a bit at a time, because her strength wasn’t what it used to be. Finishing, she cupped both hands over the top of the pitchfork and settled back to watch the sheep eat.
The two lambs had been born in the spring, and although grown, were still full of spunk and sass. She watched the three of them feed, butting against each other, their antics making her smile. "Lucky little critters," she said. "If I hadn’t been reading the good book and come to the part about the shepherds in the field, I’d have forgotten about you altogether." One bleated in response, but the three were too busy eating to pay her much attention.
She breathed in the cold, crisp air, and glanced around, taking in the beautiful night. She’d forgotten to turn on the outside lights, but the moon was bright, and the frost-covered fields gleamed with light and shadows. The snow had almost melted, but it was only December first, so there was plenty of time yet for a white Christmas. She glanced up, and her mouth literally fell open.
There was no moon out tonight. A star, brilliant and shining, lit the sky above. Her heart started to pound and her skin broke out in gooseflesh that had nothing to do with the cold. She’d just been reading the Christ story in the bible, and couldn’t help the thoughts that suddenly slid into her mind.
Here she was, out by the barn with the sheep, and the biggest and brightest star she’d ever seen in her life was shining down on her. It had to mean something. Maybe it was a sign just for her; an indication that the wish dearest to her heart would come true.
Feeling a pang of embarrassment at her foolishness, she glanced down, then busied herself by replacing the pitchfork. Whatever it was, she was too old and too tired to stand out in the cold and figure it out. She turned to go, then stopped.
Old she might be, but she wasn’t stupid. It was December, there was a big star in the sky, and if there was a chance that this was supposed to mean something to her personally, then she wasn’t messing it up. She’d already messed up too much in her life. She was going to make a wish on that star.
Closing her eyes, she thought about all the things in her life that could use some help, then smiled. Of course she knew exactly what she was wishing for, but simply wanted to prolong the moment. She opened her eyes and looked up at the star. "I wish that my husband, my daughter and Jason could forgive each other this Christmas season."
The star continued to shine just as brightly.
Slowly, this time with hope filling her heart, she made her way back to the house.
And missed seeing the star twinkle in the sky.
***
Standing outside her car in freezing December weather, Elise Banks glared at the bag of chocolate chip cookies on the floor of her Impala. Arms loaded with groceries, dry cleaning, briefcase, purse, a stack of mail in one hand and keys in the other, she was definitely not in the mood for this. There were two steep flights of stairs to her apartment, and she was not making another trip down. She continued to glare. She needed those cookies.
Hooking the key ring onto her thumb, she bent her knees and leaned into the car sideways, balancing both grocery sacks. Carefully she retrieved the cookie bag with her index and middle finger, slowly straightened, and breathed a sigh of relief. She shut the car door with one hip, turned and headed for the stairs. She was exhausted. Chicago traffic had been a nightmare and the pharmaceuticals company she worked for a mad house; and since she was in charge of the staff meeting in the morning, she’d had to stay late to finish preparing. Now she had a million things at home to catch up on, but all she wanted to do was relax, finish reading a romance novel, and eat the entire bag of chocolate chip cookies.
She was breathing heavily by the time she stood outside her apartment door. Wriggling the key into the doorknob, then the dead bolt, she managed to push into her apartment before dropping a few things on the floor.
Her two cats, Fawn and Tinkerbell, came running as she kicked the door closed. "Hi, babies." They followed her into the kitchen and she grinned as they tried to weave between her legs. "Hungry?" She set the mail and groceries on the table and opened a couple of cans of cat food as the animals rubbed against her.
While they ate, she popped a TV dinner into the oven, put away the groceries, then sat at the kitchen table and sorted through the stack of mail: junk mail, a couple of bills, a Christmas card from an old high school friend in Wyoming, and a seminar notice.
She lifted the postcard-sized announcement, a brilliant white card with pretty gold lettering. A man named Gabriel Christensen was putting on a seminar: How to get organized, get focused, and get the life you really want.
Not interested. She was already organized, focused, and had the life she wanted. She didn’t need anyone telling her how to do it. She threw the postcard into the trash with the rest of the junk mail, opened her file folder, placed the bills in the appropriate slots, and opened the Christmas card.
Ashley Johnson, her husband, and three adorable children smiled brightly at her. Elise’s heart wrenched as unexpected pain washed through her and she closed her eyes briefly. She wouldn’t let this distress her. She had a wonderful job, great friends, and a fabulous life. She dated. If she wanted to be married with three kids, she could be. There was plenty of time. Thirty-two wasn’t exactly over the hill. And she was always being complimented on her long dark hair and brown eyes. It wasn’t as if she were dog meat or anything. Just choosy.
She opened her eyes and looked at Ashley’s oldest child. He must be at least ten years old. If Elise had married Jason after college, their child might be in kindergarten by now. If--
She snapped the card closed, unwilling to let herself dwell on what might have been. It didn’t matter anymore. She had exactly the life she wanted, and she was happy. Very happy. Fulfilled. Contented.
A sudden yearning for home filled her and she tried to push the feeling aside. She’d been home last month and it had been uncomfortable; she had no plans to visit again anytime soon. Standing, Elise hung the Christmas card in the archway above the kitchen entrance with the few others she’d already received and gazed up at them. Since it was already December second, she really ought to get her own cards into the mail.
After checking the TV dinner, she pulled Christmas cards and addresses out of the appropriate files, and dug into her purse for her favorite pen. Her hand clasped a small, thick piece of paper and she pulled it out and recognized the gold lettering. It was another seminar notice. How strange. She didn’t remember putting it there.
She chucked it in the trash and continued looking for her pen. When she didn’t find it, she went into the living room and checked her coat pocket. Her hand clasped a thick piece of paper, about the size of a postcard, and chills ran up her arm. Slowly, she pulled out the paper. Another seminar notice.
What the heck was going on here? Sunday school class, the bible, the Lord works in mysterious ways, and teachings from her childhood flashed through her mind. Was she meant to go to this conference? Was someone trying to tell her something? She continued to stare at the notice, then gave her head a quick shake and released the breath she was holding.
No doubt someone from work was playing a joke on her; teasing about her organizational skills. She’d get razzed in the morning.
As Elise walked to the trash, she tore up the notice, then let the pieces flutter into the garbage. Symbolically she brushed off her hands. One thing was for certain; she was not going to that seminar.
***
At work the next day, Elise went straight to her cubicle, deposited her purse and coat, grabbed the folders for the staff meeting and went to set up. This wasn’t the first time she’d been singled out to do a presentation, and with promotions on the horizon, she intended to do a great job.
In the conference room, she set folders around the rectangular table, made sure the markers worked on the dry erase board, plugged in her laptop, and checked that the Power Point audio and visual were working. She was ready.
Her friend, Kimberly, walked into the room, her tiny frame dwarfed by the two large boxes of doughnuts balanced on her forearms, and the two gallons of orange juice, one hanging from each hand. Elise hurried forward and took the juice.
Kimberly smiled. "Thanks. Have you got everything ready?"
"You bet."
Kimberly finished setting out the doughnuts and winked. "Knock-em dead."
Co-workers filed through the doorway, talking and laughing, picking up doughnuts and juice on their way to their seats.
Mr. Simmons, her boss, entered last. "Okay, listen up people, Elise’s in charge today, so let’s get started." As everyone quieted and opened folders, Elise launched into the presentation. To her relief, it went well.
When the meeting ended, Mr. Simmons raised a white card. "Just one more thing. I received this announcement for a motivational seminar and I want one of you to go and report back. Any volunteers?"
Several hands went up, but her boss turned to her. "Elise, you did a great job today and deserve a bit of a break. Why don’t you do it? Go and take notes, then give us a summary, okay?"
"Sure." She watched as a very familiar looking placard was passed to the front. She quickly scanned the faces of her boss and co-workers, looking to see if she was the butt of a joke, but other than a few teasing grumbles about her good fortune, no one even looked her way. With a feeling of inevitability, she reached for the card and turned it over to see pretty gold lettering. She wasn’t even surprised when she saw that a guy named Gabriel Christensen was teaching the class. Apparently, she was meant to go to his seminar.
***
After the seminar lunch break, Elise sat in the back and went over her notes. So far they’d hit on motivation, attitude, body language and meditation.
She was glad she’d come; the speaker had turned out to be a good one. There were about fifty conference attendees, and the group was fun. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, and it was a nice break from work.
"Excuse me? Elise Banks?"
Elise turned and smiled, showing her name badge in the process. "Yes?"
Gabriel Christensen, the elderly seminar leader, was tall, slender, well dressed and handsome. With thick, silver hair and laughing blue eyes, he was the opposite of the smarmy, bottom-of-the-heap salesman type, she’d half-expected. He was more likely to give out bibles at the end of the lecture than sell CDs and DVDs. His habit of quoting scripture only made him more endearing. He had a kindness and a sincerity about him that either was sincere, or else Hollywood had missed out on a major talent.
"How are you doing? Are you understanding everything, or do you need anything explained?"
Elise smiled. "I’m fine, thanks."
"Are you staying for the entire program?"
"Yes, I’m not going anywhere."
"Great. That’s what I wanted to hear. Let me know if I can help at all."
She nodded, then watched as he went down the stairs, stopping to talk to a few people before he made his way toward the front.
A few minutes later he held up his hands. "Ladies and gentlemen, let’s begin again. We will now discuss forgiveness."
Elise stilled in the process of reaching for her pen, an uneasy feeling crawling into her gut. Forgiveness? What did that have to do with motivation in the workforce?
Gabriel looked right at her and winked.
She eyed him warily, feeling like she was missing something.
"Forgiveness is more important than any of the other subjects we’ve discussed so far today. We have to forgive everyone for everything they have ever done to hurt us. Everyone for everything. Why? Are the people who’ve hurt us being hurt by our refusal to forgive? Perhaps, and perhaps not. But more importantly, you are the one being hurt when you refuse to forgive. We have to let go of all past hurts. If you do this, it will literally feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders." He picked up the scriptures and held them in the air. "The good book says to forgive everyone."
When Gabriel looked at her again, she glanced away.
"So, I have an assignment for each of you. Take out a piece of paper. I want you to write a letter of forgiveness to the person who has hurt you the most."
Elise sat back and folded her arms. This had gone far enough. This wasn’t fun anymore and she no longer wanted to participate.
"I want you to think about someone you need to forgive. And I want you to write that person a letter of forgiveness. The good Lord says--"
Could this get any worse? Elise did not want to do this. She stiffened when Gabriel’s gaze turned toward her. "Elise? Is there a problem?"
She squirmed when all the attention in the room focused on her, but decided to opt for honesty. "I didn’t sign on for this."
"For what?"
"Forgiveness. Shouldn’t this be something we learn about in church?" Did she sound belligerent? Childish? She took a deep breath. "What I mean is, I think I’ll pass on this segment of the seminar."
Gabriel’s gaze captured her own. "Elise. It’s the areas we have the most problems with that we need to face head on. Anger and resentment can destroy peace and happiness. Forgiveness is often the key to having both."
"Look, I--" Why was she explaining herself to him? She’d simply write a letter to her cat, Tinkerbell, and forgive her for garbage digging. She’d--
"Sometimes it is difficult to even want to forgive. I realize that. But just give it an honest try, all right? Just let go of the hurt."
Honest? Let go? Tears burned behind her eyes. He didn’t know what he was asking. She continued to hold his earnest gaze for a moment longer, then her shoulders slumped and she nodded. "Yes, all right, fine."
"Wonderful!"
She opened her notebook and picked up her pen. Okay. She’d write the dang letter, and she’d even try to be honest. But she’d do it fast, get it over with, and be ready to move on to the next subject.
Heart beating hard, she mentally went through the list of people she needed to forgive. Hunching over her notebook, she bit the end of her pen. Let’s see, there was the guy in apartment 4C. He’d stolen the dryer when she’d opened it with the intention of moving her clothes from the washer to the dryer. That had been incredibly rude on his part. She wrote 4C on the page.
Oh, and Bryce at work. He’d bumped into her and she’d spilled hot cocoa and ruined her white silk blouse. He hadn’t even apologized, let alone offered to replace it.
And there was...feeling desperate, she rubbed her forehead. Let’s see, surely there was someone else? Oh yes, the lady at the floral shop. She’d overcharged for the flowers, and when Elise had complained, been really snooty about giving a refund.
Elise looked at the list of possible people she needed to forgive and struggled to find one she could feel good about, feel honest about, but it was hard to concentrate with other names pounding in her head. She needed to...well, she needed to...oh all right!
She quickly wrote his name on the piece of paper. Jason Winslow. Pain slammed into her and she just as quickly crossed the name off her list. Underneath she wrote Dad. Tears blurred her vision. Yes, she needed to forgive her father. Before she could give herself a chance to think, she turned the page and started a letter.
Dear Dad, I forgive you. Elise.
She stared at the letter. Honesty; she was going for honesty. She turned the page and started again.
Dear Dad,
She held her pen to the page and sudden emotion welled within her and she started to write, slowly at first, then faster as the flood of words poured from her onto the page.
I’ve been really angry for a long time. It’s time for me to let it go now, and to move on. I really loved Jason, and you did your best to break us up. Well, he’s probably married with three kids by now, and here I am, five years later, in a job I like, but with no one to love me. But it’s time I took some responsibility for the past too. It wasn’t all your fault. I’m sorry for my part in all of it and I forgive you for your part. I know that you’ve always wanted what’s best for me. I love you. Elise.
By the time she’d finished writing the short letter, her cheeks were drenched with tears. She wiped at her face with the back of her hand, sniffed, and dug in her purse for a tissue. Of course she needed to forgive her father. She’d been so unhappy. She loved him and knew he loved her.
Ripping the page out of the notebook, she reread the letter. She’d never mail it--the contents would probably make her father defensive and angry--but already she felt better. Eventually she’d call and have a talk with her dad. A very carefully worded conversation. After she’d thought about it for a long while.
"Okay, everyone done?"
She glanced up and searched the crowd; some people were still writing, others crying, and Gabriel was looking right at her.
She nodded.
"Is there anyone else you want to write a letter to?"
Elise glanced around to see a few people nodding. She glanced back to see Gabriel still staring at her and quickly shook her head.
He smiled, then proceeded to pass out envelopes. "All right then. Feel free to write more letters, but for now I want you to address your envelopes to the person you wrote the letter to."
Elise stilled. Oh, no. Not going to happen. This was something she’d do on her own time schedule.
Gabriel glanced at her. "Is there a problem, Elise?"
"Uh, well..."
"Are you under the impression that I would have you mail these letters unwillingly?"
Of course she was. "No, of course not."
"What I want you to do is address your letters, then put them in here." He held up a cardboard box that had been painted to look like a mailbox.
Elise took an envelope and passed the extras down the row. Of course. How silly. He wasn’t going to mail her letter. What did he care about her relationship with her father?
Gabriel spoke again. "We are going to symbolically mail the letters. Afterward, I’m sure some of you will want to really mail your letters. Feel free to do so. The power of forgiveness is amazing, and the healing that can take place will lift a burden that perhaps you’d not even realized was there."
Barely listening, Elise finished addressing her envelope then placed the letter inside. When Gabriel moved to her, she hesitated, then reluctantly placed her letter in the mailbox. Fine. But she was not mailing it later.
His smile was brilliant. "Okay, now we’ll move on to something else."
Relief flooded through her. She definitely wanted to move on to another subject.
